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Tap Into Love – Eliminate Amouraphobia:
The fear of romantic love – fear of being hurt deeply.

You Can Experience Unparalleled Happiness in all of your relationships, including your Love relationship.

My husband, Roger Callahan, PhD, was the author of It Can Happen To You, The Practical Guide to Romantic Love, and The Five Minute Phobia Cure.  In his early books, Roger recognized and described these tendencies to fear, sabotage and avoid loving and caring relationships.  Then, as a past President of the American Academy of Psychologists in Marital and Family Therapy and a member of the Society for Scientific Study of Sex, over the years he studied and developed successful and simple strategies for allowing the unconditional, loving relationships we all desire.

As we enter the month of February, and approach Valentine’s Day, many of us turn our thoughts to love, and the various relationships we have from family to friends and partners.  Many of us are grateful for having the love of our lives with us now.  Like millions of people, we look for ways to express our love and gratitude for these loved ones.

The statistics show that over 5,800 marriages take place in the USA every day.  But the percentage of those remaining married over 10 years is decreasing every decade.

In the back of our minds many worry about keeping their marriage or relationship alive, and how to stop sabotaging it. Some may even be asking themselves, Why do I always get a loser? – or, How can I attract that special person into my life?

Amouraphobia is often at the root of our difficulties with relationships.  It is this form of fear that can also be present in any long-term or committed relationship such as a friendship or business partnership.

This phobic-like fear is caused by very severe personal traumas that virtually every one of us has suffered at one time or another in our lives, whether it be a rejection by someone we care about, or the loss of a lover.  Roger calls this horrible trauma LOVE PAIN.  Many may joke about this pain but underneath the humor seethes remnants of the past suffering of love pain, or pain of rejection.

Severe love pain is supposed to only happen to adolescents.  Because they are more vulnerable and open to intense romantic love (Romeo and Juliet were adolescents) they do suffer to a greater degree than their elders. But we know it impacts anyone who has suffered rejection, loss or the pain from love that is not reciprocated.

Some of the many problems that can be triggered by love pain and grief are:

  • Murders / Suicides – for example Nicole Simpson and OJ
  • Addictions / anxiety – Gov. Dukakis’s brother
  • Vow to never fall in love again – depriving us of happiness
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Anger / jealousy and obsessions – stalking
  • Compromised health

His first book, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU, was about amouraphobia and its manifold effects, especially it’s potential for destroying the chance for a happy and fulfilling romantic life – even if you happen to have found the ideal partner.

As a result, he found that those who had suffered severe love pain, in the past, often became severe amouraphobes.  This applies to a loss of a dear friend or rejection from a business partner – someone we cared about, trusted enough to feel vulnerable with.

Roger then discovered a very effective way to eliminate this severe phobic block – amouraphobia – and the severe trauma from past love loss. This is also very relevant to our aging senior population as they lose their long-time spouse or partner.

It is quite possible, if you follow his self-help procedures, you will notice it is easier to give, communicate, and receive romantic love as well as an open, trusting reciprocal relationship of any kind.

He states, “Many people believe that the most common phobias are fear of public speaking or fear of death.  Perhaps not?  Based on my decades of experience and clinical practice, I believe the most common fear is, fear of intense romantic love, amouraphobia.  I did considerable clinical research on amouraphobia and I found that it caused many problems and was much more common than we realized.

When my book, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU, first came out, it received much media attention.  However, at that time, while it was an intriguing topic, I had not yet discovered a treatment for it.  Even so, US magazine did a full story on it, Phil Donahue devoted a whole show to the concept and the media devoured it.”

Now, however, we understand the phenomenon of amouraphobia, and how far reaching its effects can be in our ability to begin and establish loving, trusting relationships.  It robs us of one of life’s greatest joys, giving and receiving unconditional love.

Surprisingly enough, the same tapping protocols that are used to relieve love pain are the very same that we use on severe traumas.

The fear of romantic love – fear of being hurt deeply.

You Can Experience Unparalleled Happiness in all of your relationships, including your Love relationship.

by Joanne Callahan, MBA