A Message To Your Inner Child From Mary Miller
We are so thrilled to share this latest article from Mary Miller, a long time friend of Naturalcures.com.
Happy New Year to the Two “You’s” (and the Two “Me’s”)! We each have within us two operating systems that are probably best described as our inner children. The first system, your natural operating system, is governed by what we would call the Natural Child. This is the natural, healthy, spontaneous YOU who lives from moment to moment. This is the YOU who recognizes your natural needs and wants, and can express them, unencumbered, out into the world.
This YOU, combined with your own spirit or presence, can find a natural life pathway, the road to your unique destiny based on what you love to do—and maybe what you came here to do. This natural YOU is not worried about what other people think about how you dress, what you say or how you spend your time. This YOU is genuine, unselfconscious and aware of what you want out of life!
The Natural You lives in a world with more possibilities, choices and preferences. And this world is expressed in language that includes words like “choose,” “prefer,” “decide,” “want,” “flexibility,” “freedom,” “wish,” “select” and “will do”.
Then, there is the adapted operating system within us. This YOU can feel guilty for even your most simple wants and needs. This YOU has learned to hold back on who you are so as not to burden or bother anyone else. The adapted You can easily sacrifice what You need and want and love to do for the sake of fulfilling what YOU see as obligations.
The Adapted or Obligated Child within speaks a different language using words that tend to be more limiting. This system uses words like “should,” “can’t,” “must,” “have to,” “had better,” “ought to,” “owe,” “duty,” etc. The Adapted You lives in a more automatic world where we respond to life from a pre-conditioned place without evaluating situations in the current moment.
The Adapted YOU is often coming from a place of self-protection, ironically trying to protect itself from something that already happened. Life in this system is often based on repetitive patterns that seem self-protective but do not allow for future-oriented, forward movement.
This adapted system is generally not very life giving. It requires the use of far more life force to maintain than the natural system does. The adapted system tends to generate stress and ultimately leads to not much happiness. The adapted system is often automatic and unconscious, meaning we are not aware of this system when it is in place. And as a dear friend of mine once said: “You don’t know what you don’t know.”
As we begin this New Year, what a great opportunity to evaluate just how much air time each of the TWO YOU’S has in your life? How many hours each day do you spend in your adapted operating system? And how many hours per day do you spend in your natural operating system? And would you like to change these numbers? The quality of your life in 2018 will depend on this answer to this question.
My New Year’s resolution is to give more air time to the Natural Me. My resolution is to do all I can to fix that Adapted ME so I feel peaceful enough and safe enough in the world to let the Natural ME shine through. The Adapted ME and YOU can never go away completely. A part of our identity is in this adapted operating system. And besides there will be times in life when this system might just help us adapt and adjust into something that will ultimately serve us well.
So I say, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THE TWO YOU’S And, may the natural YOU have lots more air time in 2018 than it ever has before.! If you would like some support in making this happen, email me at [email protected]